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ZEDD'S REVIEWS

CEMETERY GATES (2006)
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Directed By:
Roy Knyrim

Starring:
Reggie Bannister, Peter Stickles and Aime Wolf

Rated R
Genre: Horror
Format Used: Blockbuster DVD
Contains: Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Nudity, Drug Use

THE PLOT:

Two animal rights advicist pick the wrong animal to "free". For Prescious isn't an animal, it's a monster. Prescious is a mutant Tazmanian Devil that two scientist purposily mutated in order to find a cure to all illness.

Now Prescious is on the loose and hungry all the time, she hangs out at an old abandoned cemetery that a group of teenagers decide to camp at. There's a recipe for disaster. Now with the scientist on the trail Prescious is on the trail of the teenagers.

ZEDD'S OPINION:

Okay, where to begin. I liked the design of the mutant Tazmanian Devil and Reggie Bannister of the Phantasm movies does a great job as the Doctor. But there seemed to be a cheap feeling through the whole movie. Here's one dumb question, why wasn't "Prescious" in a cage when transporting her? Why was she allowed to run around loose in the back of a truck? Problem two, Prescious never blinked and one of the eyes could blink and lastly with the problems, the crooks seemed tacked on. Like they were afraid they were going to run out of bodies before the end of the movie. Being a horror writer I know how that feels. But instead of throwing more bodies in the meat grinder, perhaps they could have refined the story and characters more. But it does have it redeeming qualities and I think it's a fair movie considering the budget was a mere $ 930,000 to begin with. 5 STARS.

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VOLTRON'S OPINION:

There is no excuse for a bad movie. The characters were two dimensional, maybe two and a half. I think the costume was somewhat cool. But maybe they should have put a big dog in the costume, when humans walk or run on all fours the legs are always longer the front legs. Considering human's legs are longer then our arms. Still, it was a total pile of cow dung and I give it 1 1/2 STARS for the effort.

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ON THE POSITIVE SIDE (+ HITS):

+ COSTUME (The Mutant Tazmanian Devil Costume is good old fashion monster movie magic.)
+ REGGIE BANNISTER (Reggie Bannister does a great acting job.)
+ GORE EFFECTS (Plenty of gore to please the toughest horror critic.)

ON THE NEGATIVE SIDE (- MISSES):

- CHARACTERS (The characters needed work.)
- BLINK (Why couldn't they make it blink.)
- RUNNING AROUND (Why was she just running around free?)
- CROOKS (The crooks seemed tacked on.)
- FOUR LEGS (Humans in costumes always look akward running around on all fours.)

...AND FINALLY...

- FAN BASED (If you don't enough B-Monster movies, then this isn't for you.)

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